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Action Figures For Imbeciles It's the G.W. Bush "aviator" doll...

<p>Oh my God honey that is so damn cute our little Timmy will just love that Bush doll, once he gets through playing with all his tanks and guns and finishes shoving M-80s into the cat and once...

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Morford: How To Gag On 'The Passion' (Gibson's brutal snuff...

Perhaps you, like so many across the planet, are more than a bit baffled by the runaway success of "The Passion of the Christ." Perhaps you, furthermore, are more than slightly disturbed that millions...

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Morford: Very Funny Cat Decapitations (when small European cars maim cute...

I love animals. All animals, especially dogs. And zebras. And snakes. And deer. Dolphins. Birds. The Olsen Twins. Ron Jeremy. Even cats. It's true. Cats are perhaps my least favorite but even so I...

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Morford: Genital Torture For Dummies (Hey, it's a war -- what did you...

Just in time for your morning breakfast sausage, it's all-American rape and torture and rampant entirely condoned military sadism. Mmm, patriotism. The pictures are worth a thousand disgusted moans....

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Wallow In Chaos, And Laugh (Mark Morford is having a nervous breakdown)

Oh dear God please not again. Oh dear God please don't let it be all convoluted and depressing and messy and stupid and please don't let it all embarrass us on an international level all over again...

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Morford: Dear World: Sorry About Bush

It's a movement. It's a phenomenon. It's a Web site. Or maybe it's far more than that. No one can really be sure. No matter what it is, it's called sorryeverybody.com and it expresses, better than any...

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Mark Morford: Monday Night Softcore

So, who are they? Who are the ones who have no problem watching a Monday Night Football game in which huge sweaty steroid pakced men in cute homoerotic tights smash each other as hard as possible...

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Morford: Very, Very Dirty Pictures

This is what you won't see in the paper. This is what you won't see on CNN or on MSNBC or CBS News or on any major media Web site anywhere and especially no goddamn way ever in hell will you see it...

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Morford: What Are You, On Drugs?

The odds are very good that you are on drugs. Right now. This minute. As I type this and as you read this and as false Texas dictators rise and sad empires crumble and as this mad bewildered world...

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Legal pot? Legal gay marriage? Universal health care? What's next, free...

Did you hear the screams? Did you feel the menacing chill? Did you see the black and ominous clouds, moving north? Did you sense, in other words, the very presence of Satan himself as he laughed...

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Canada Goes To Hell Legal pot? Legal gay marriage? Universal health care?...

Legal pot? Legal gay marriage? Universal health care? What's next, free porn and candy? Did you hear the screams? Did you feel the menacing chill? Did you see the black and ominous clouds, moving...

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Come See Our Hideous Slab

As the world swoons over France's soaring beauty of a bridge, S.F. gets slapped with an eyesore And did you hear the one about how those gul-dang baguette-sucking antiwar French just completed work on...

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Amazon.com Is For Republicans

Attention, liberal shoppers! Next year, screw those GOP-supportin' companies, and try buying blue Do you care much that greasy ol' Pizza Hut gave tens of thousands in PAC money to the GOP last year?...

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Resolutions For The Damned

A new year, a Bush-gutted, storm-ravaged world and you in need of some juicy, heartfelt pledges -- This is the year. No, really. This is the it. This is the year you resolve to let it all hang out and...

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Stray Dogs Deserve Back Rubs

We kill millions of pets every year Who cares if a few get posh shelters and humane laws? OK. So I tend to think people who insist on calling themselves pet "guardians" instead of "owners" are...

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Ho Hum, More War And Death

What happens when habitual warmongering and BushCo lies become part of our daily diet? And then you read the appalling little story about how BushCo is now "taking steps" to further the investigation...

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Communism and human nature (Bolshie Mod sez, Arise ye kittens of the earth!)

Many argue that communism will never be possible because of "human nature". The essence of this false argument is the belief that a communist society would consist of an all-powerful central government...

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